kellifer_fic (kellifer_fic) wrote,
kellifer_fic
kellifer_fic

Slow and Steady wins the race...

So, I'm still getting these icon fics done and it's only... *looks at watch* ... a month later... ye gads!!

So I bring you something light and funny and make a guarantee,promise, absolute concerted attempt to get them finished this weekend. I think I only have three left and ... um, sg1atlantis, your, ah... icon keeps changing. *blinks*

Also, I will get done the commentary that was requested. Strangely enough, I was asked to do commentary for one of the only truly porny scenes I've written... heh...

Oh, and the BSG/Atlantis crossover I was asked for in the *last* round. Eep!!

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe Ku'irk Factor
Icon supplied by - adannu
Category - Gen/humor
Disclaimer - Don't own, don't sue!
Summary - “Each pregnant woman claims that John touched her.”



What are they calling him?” Rodney asked, outrage thrumming through every part of his body.

“Ku’irk. It’s a local fertility god apparently,” Carson answered mildly, studiously ignoring the way Rodney was rapidly turning pink.

“Oh my god, that’s just fantastic! He really is space Kirk, and now literally!” Rodney threw up his hands in exasperation.

“Don’t take it to heart laddie, it was just a series of coincidences.”

Rodney looked up at the platform that was currently draped in garlands of flowers, offerings of food and sitting in the midst of it all was John Sheppard, bashful smile fixed firmly in place as village girls fawned around him, getting him to touch a hand to their bellies in blessing.

“Explain it to me again,” Rodney grated.

“From what I can piece together, the Wraith were carrying out experiments in population control, probably to infect those societies they deemed to be advancing too quickly. They bombarded the local fields with a drug that caused infertility and for five years the people have been eating the food of this drug soaked ground. When you all came through six months ago, we ended up trading refined white sugar, which happens to counteract the drug. Suddenly, there are pregnant women everywhere.”

And?”

“Each pregnant woman claims that John touched her.”

“We have to tell them-“

“We don’t have to do anything Rodney. While they believe Colonel Sheppard is a man who can bestow blessings, they will eat the cookies laced with sugar we give them as well while we figure out how to rid their fields of the poison.”

“But can’t we just-“

No Rodney. We’ll just have to put up with it for the time being, no matter how inconvenient.”

Rodney harrumphed in annoyance and turned back to the platform, crossing arms over his chest. “Oh, now that’s too much!” Rodney squeaked as two women knelt by John’s feet and urged him to sit. They had a bowl of steaming water and were undoing John’s bootlaces to his somewhat unconvincing protestations.

“Don’t worry Rodney,” Carson sighed and then grinned. “John has to bestow blessing on all the villagers.”

“What?” Rodney looked in the direction Carson was indicating and saw a group of young men gathered, all looking pensive as the group of young women thinned.

John had spotted the group of men as well, mid foot bathing. He looked down at Rodney with panic in his eyes and Rodney smiled back.

“Sometimes the world is a just place,” Rodney sighed happily, digging in to the basket of cookies Carson had lowered to the ground and starting to hand them out to the passing girls.

“Enjoy your afternoon,” he said as they filed past. “I know I will.”
Tags: by request, gen, humor
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