kellifer_fic (kellifer_fic) wrote,

"The League Of Fairly Unusual Gentlemen"

Title: The League Of Fairly Unusual Gentlemen
By: kellifer_fic
Fandom: SPN/SG-1/SGA/Buffy/Angel (Oi!)
Rating: PG (language)
Words: 2,529
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no money!
Notes: Happy birthday empressvesica, a little something from all the fandoms we cross paths with.
Summary: Cameron Mitchell asked for the most secret, out there gig he could get. He wasn't actually expecting it.

Jack O’Neill had said, “Anything you want. And I mean anything,” but when he’d asked for SG-1, Jack had raised his eyebrows and said, “Okay, almost anything.”

“Well, what about the most secret, out there gig I can get?”

Looking up at the abandoned warehouse that matched the address on the paper he had in hand, Cameron Mitchell wondered if maybe he should have asked for a pony.


Air force Colonel Cameron Mitchell was desperately wishing he’d worn anything other than his dress blues as he shoved his way through the warehouse door that stuck halfway. He had been assuming that he was heading to a military installation of some kind. What he wasn’t expecting was to see a desk set in the middle of the expansive warehouse floor and another area cordoned off with partitions.

There was a pretty woman with dark hair sitting at the desk. She held up one finger in a “Just a moment” gesture when he got close and he read her name plate on her desk while she apparently listened to half of a phone conversation he couldn’t hear because she was wearing a headset.

It said, Cordelia Chase, Administrative Manager / Seer.

“Uhuh,” she said, half-smiling at Cameron and rolling her eyes. “Yes, we can do that but I still need… no, I sent that to you a week ago. Yes, I’m sure.”

Cameron turned a slow circle, seeing that the rest of the warehouse was empty except for a far corner that was taped off and had what looked like fairly new and expensive gym equipment set up. Cameron blinked when he realised that there was actually someone using the free weights. He was tall, with dreadlocked hair and he was staring straight at Cameron.

“Can I help you?” Cameron wheeled back around when he felt a tug on his sleeve.

“Sorry, I was… assigned here but I’m starting to think it was some kind of joke,” Cameron said, offering the piece of paper he’d been giving to who he only had to assume was Cordelia.

“No, you’re in the right place. We weren’t expecting you till next week though,” Cordelia said, a slight frown on her face. “Sam! The Air force guy is here!” she hollered over her shoulder and Cameron winced.

A shaggy-haired guy poked his head above one of the partitions and raised his eyebrows. “He’s early,” he said.

“I could come back?” Cameron offered, waving a vague hand at the door and wishing for escape because despite what Cordelia said, he was pretty sure this was all some elaborate prank.

Sam’s face split into a wide grin, a dimple appearing in one cheek and Cameron thought he looked like a really tall kid. “Naw,” Sam said. “You’re here now. Let me give you the fifty cent tour.”

Cameron stepped back and away from the desk as Sam rounded the partition and Cameron had to look up which was rare for him. Cordelia had swivelled back around to the computer behind her and so Cameron figured he’d been handed off. When Sam appeared and was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans over scuffed boots, Cameron truly did feel like a big dork in his uniform.

“Colonel Mitchell, right?” Sam hazarded and Cameron smiled.

“You military?” When Sam shook his head Cameron nodded. “Call me Cameron.”

“Okay Cameron. Everyone else is out right now and there’s nothing much to see in here.” Sam gestured, taking in the warehouse with a sweep of his arm. “But there’s something cool at the end of the tour that’ll make it all worth it.”

“Dare I ask?” Cameron couldn’t help liking the man beside him, who seemed like an over-eager puppy. He was getting worried though; he had absolutely no idea what he was doing there. “Gotta be honest with you, this posting wasn’t really what I was expectin’.”

“Never is for anyone,” Sam said, shrugging. He led Cameron over to the gym area, where the tall guy with dreadlocks had moved onto the treadmill. “This is Ronon,” Sam introduced and Cameron sketched a little wave. Ronon just glared at them, not breaking rhythm and Sam turned them around and headed them back to the partitioned off area, leaning down to say,” Don’t take it personally, he just has to warm up to you,” in Cameron’s ear.

He was led past Cordelia’s desk again and Cameron caught her looking up and giving him a surreptitious up-down before returning to her work. He felt better about the dress blues after that.

Behind the partition was a couple of desks that had seen better days, filing cabinets and a whole wall covered in clippings and scraps of paper with hand written notes. There was a laptop on one of the desks and an ugly Persian rug covering the floor. When Cameron stepped further into the small space he felt something like a fission of energy pass over him and he stepped back.

“Woah, what is that?” he asked and frowned at Sam who was grinning wide.

“Wow, not everyone can feel that,” he said and there was something like approval on his face. “It’s nice to not get sent a complete civilian this time.”

Cameron was about to protest, it had been a long time since he’d been a civilian, but something told him that Sam wasn’t actually speaking specifically about people versus the military.

“Look, this is all very mysterious but I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing here,” Cameron said, knowing that frustration was edging his voice.

“Basically, we’re the agency for Supernatural Phenomenon, Occult and –“

“Don’t do the Spock thing!” Cordelia shrilled from the other side of the partition and Cameron had to stifle a smirk with his hand.

“Stop ruining my fun, Chase!” Sam called back as a balled up piece of paper sailed over the carpeted faux-wall and bonked Sam right on the temple.

“I’m sorry, am I supposed to be babysitting?” Cameron asked, eyebrow raised.

“We’re kinda like Men in Black,” Sam said by way of explanation.

“Excuse me?”

“Without Will Smith. Or the suits and we keep our names and… you know what? We’re nothing like Men In Black but you get the gist, right?”

“I think I’m more lost than ever,” Cameron said and fought the urge to laugh when Sam’s face fell tragically.


“You work… cases right? Kind of like a detective agency maybe?” Cameron tried and Sam grinned.

“Yeah. Supernatural and alien detectives,” he enthused and Cameron heard an exasperated snort from over the wall.

“We’re not all giant geeks!” Cordelia called and Cameron laughed.

“Okay, have any case files? Anything I can read?”

“Yeah, but that won’t really show-“

“How about I work up to the big finale, yeah? Just plonk me down somewhere and give me everything.”

Sam shrugged, crossing to the closest of the filing cabinets and started yanking out manila folders. “These are the ones we’re working on at the moment,” he said. When he filled one of the desks and started working on the second drawer, Cameron sat, tugging his jacket off first and rolling up his sleeves.

“Okay,” he sighed.


Cameron looked up when a beer was waved across his field of vision. He saw standing on the other side of the desk was Sam and a shorter man. Cameron was used to large, extended families so he knew resemblance when he saw it and guessed the two men were at least related. They were wearing identically quizzical expressions.

“A little early for that don’t you think?” Cameron asked and Sam and the other guy looked at each other.

“It’s after five,” Sam said and Cameron looked at his watch, rubbing a hand across his tired eyes. He got up and his back creaked ominously.

“Sorry, I get a little lost when-“

“You’re reading?” the other guy guessed and smirked. “You and Sammy, peas in a pod.”

“This is my brother, Dean,” Sam introduced and Cameron nodded and accepted Dean’s proffered hand, shaking briskly. He wouldn’t have guessed brothers but he could see it in a sameness about the way they carried themselves.

“So has Sam shown you the cool bit yet?” Dean asked.

“Not as yet, no,” Cameron said, watching Sam try to hold his grin back by pressing his lips over his teeth.

“Can I?” Sam asked and again, Cameron was reminded of a puppy.

“Knock yourself out,” Dean said, an exasperated affection in his tone.

“You know, I’m having trouble believing even an eighth of this stuff,” Cameron said, tapping a finger on the pile of files before him.

“This might make it easier to believe,” Sam said, walking backwards. He put up his hands and just as he reached the wall on the far side of the room, he vanished.

“What the hell?” Cameron exclaimed. Dean was smiling and he made a ‘go ahead’ gesture with his hands. “Is this some kind of trick? Some hazing thing for the new guy?” Cameron asked, walking towards the wall slowly.

“It is what it is,” Dean retorted and Cameron looked back at him. “Just walk forward. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

As Cameron approached the wall, the tingling sensation he’d gotten earlier intensified. There was nothing but a blank, warehouse wall in front of him and he was pretty sure all he was going to end up with was a sore nose and a laughing Dean, but then something flickered and he was somewhere… else.

It was a large room, comfortably decorated with overstuffed couches, a widescreen television and entertainment system and a number of desks lining one wall, computers on each. Sam was standing in the middle with his arms crossed and his eyes bright. “That first-time face is always the best,” he said with a chuckle.

“Where are we?”

“Kind of a… I’m not really sure how to describe it. You know how if you have a flat piece of material and if you fold two corners together you get a pocket? It’s kinda like that but with… reality.”

“How?” Cameron breathed, staring about himself.

“Wow, I have no idea but a friend of Oz’s set it up for us. “


“You’ll meet him when he comes in.”


Oz turned out to be a small guy with spiky hair who drove a beaten up van right into the warehouse. When he slid out of the driver’s seat, he leaned back in to retrieve a crossbow which he slung across his shoulders.

He seemed to be covered from head to foot in a fine dusting of what looked like ash.

“How’d it go?” Dean called from his precarious perch on one of the vinyl chairs that were set alongside Cordelia’s desk, making a weird little waiting room area.

“Whoever did the file on this one couldn’t count. There’s a big difference between five and fifteen.”

Cameron was back out with the files, being well and truly creeped out by the hidden space. “You’ll get used to it,” Sam had assured him but Cameron wasn’t so sure. He was thinking that his position in General O’Neill’s good books gave him room to ask for a reassignment. He could have his own SG team within the week.

Oz was shaking himself out like a dog and Cordelia made a cluck of annoyance before disappearing into a small bathroom set off to the side and coming back out with a towel. “You’re getting it everywhere,” she tsked and Oz stopped and held up his arms, letting Cordelia rub him down quickly and efficiently.

Ronon had moved over, silent as Cameron was discovering was his way, and looped the crossbow off Oz, picking up a duffle and disappearing around the partitioned area. Oz watched him impassively before turning to Cameron. “Hey, who’s the suit?”

“This is Colonel Mitchell, our new guy,” Cordelia said when Cameron opened his mouth. He would correct her but her mouth tilted up in an interesting way every time she said Colonel and he figured he could live with it.

“Hey,” Oz said, a quick tilt of his chin in Cameron’s direction seeming to be the only greeting he was going to get. Cameron had been halfway out of his chair but he dropped his butt back into it.

“Ugh, I hate this stuff,” Cordelia grumbled, kicking ineffectually at the piles of dust on the floor.

“I thought you’d be used to having vampire on you,” Dean quipped from a safe distance and Cordelia turned a scowl on him.

“What did I say about that?” she said, her tone one of warning.

“Geez, you’re so precious about them,” Dean sighed, rolling his eyes in Cameron’s direction, who ducked his head because even only knowing her for a few hours, he’d want to avoid Cordelia’s ire if at all possible.

“Well, they’re not all evil,” Cordelia said and Cameron raised his brows at both of them. He was well and truly lost now. Sam had also appeared from around the walled off area and was watching the two of them avidly, like you would watch a tennis match.

Oz had retreated and Cameron didn’t even remember seeing him move.

“Two, Chase. Two are good that we know of,” Dean snapped, holding up two fingers in an unflattering manner to illustrate his point. “Just because you’re half demon-”

“I am not half demon,” Cordelia squeaked, turning horrified eyes on Cameron. “I have a little demon in me,” she added, turning back to Dean and holding up an imperious finger. “Not a word,” she snapped, noting the way Dean was already smirking and his mouth was open.

“Okay, I think I’m done here,” Cameron said, getting up from his chair and moving to retrieve his jacket.

“Look what you did,” Cordelia accused, advancing on Dean. “We have to have a military guy, Colonel Mitchell seems perfectly nice and un-stiff necked, Sam likes him and you drive him out by being all obnoxious.” Cordelia threw her hands up into the air and then stormed towards the door, flinging it back and disappearing out into the street.

Dean let out an exasperated sounding breath and followed her out. “They do this a lot,” Sam remarked when Cameron looked at him. “After a while it kinda gets to be like white noise. Too quiet without it.”

When Cameron turned to pick up his hat, he found Oz behind him. “You leaving?”

“I was thinking about it, yeah,” Cameron said, still not really sure. It was certainly all interesting and he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure what was going on but he kinda liked that.

“You should stick around. We do good work,” Oz said, shrugging. Cameron watched him move back toward the van.

“Stay,” Ronon said, having appeared at Sam’s shoulder. “We could do with someone sane.”

“You guys wanna go grab a beer?” Cameron asked and Sam smiled, the brilliant one with the dimple. Ronon grinned too and when he did, he didn’t seem so fierce.

“I’m buying.”

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  • Reads - rec me!

    Anyone have any recs for longer fic / podfic for me to download for my Xmas roadtrip? Feel free to use it as an excuse to Incept me into a fandom I…

  • Charity fic items

    The lastest round of Charity auction-ness has prompted something in my back brain to say hey, I think you owe some people some things. I'm pretty…

  • (no subject)

    As the Xmas season draws nigh: - If anyone has me on their card list (I know a few of you do!) - I have moved. I am in the same apartment complex…